How about this simple recipe for a happy, successful life:
Grab a pen and write down everything that’s been upsetting you for the last month or so. All the bad things that have happened. Anything that is negatively impacting your life, get it down on paper. Things like:
- Limiting beliefs – you know, when you say to yourself, ‘I’ll never be able to do that …’
- Fear of failure (or success!) – if this is stopping you from achieving your goals, make a note.
- Grudges, or resentment towards others – make sure they are on the list.
- Negative body image – what part (or parts!) are you unhappy with? Write that down.
- Opportunities you’ve missed in the past: all your regrets.
· Mistakes you’ve made.
When you’re sure you’ve got everything down, you now need to read this list at least twice a day. Give it your full attention. Focus on your limiting beliefs. Keep thinking about your fear of failure. Really concentrate on those grudges you hold towards others (make sure you recall what they said or did to you, and how they made you feel). Get worked up about that body part that you’re sure everyone else notices. Don’t stop remembering all those chances you’ve blown, and especially go through all the mistakes you’ve made.
So, what do you think of the above advice? Is it really a recipe for a happy and successful life?
Of course not. It’s ridiculous! Just focusing on the negative. NO ONE would ever do that.
Err, *cough* well they do. You might know someone who does too. I speak to them every day. They don’t have a written list, but they do have a near continuous loop of negative self-talk playing in their heads. One that causes them nothing but misery and upset.
Once they realise how the brain is wired and how this narrative is hindering them, they can start countering these thoughts. Where previously a negative thought would come into their mind and they would just dwell on it, they can internally roll their eyes, think to themselves, ‘There’s that thought again’, and gently push it away. Make it a cue to think about something more positive.
For example, instead of concentrating on mistakes they’ve made in the past, they switch to thinking of ways that they can learn from them and plan a better approach for next time. Repetition and vigilance is key to successfully embedding the new belief or thought. Now what do you think of this way of moving towards a happier and more successful life?